Yes, you read the title right. Life lessons from a reality star and a drag queen. Keep reading to see exactly what I'm talking about...you won't be disappointed.
I've been reading comments regarding Bruce Jenner's transformation to Caitlyn and there are many who are in support of her while there are many who are not. The negativity breaks my heart because I thought that by 2015, living in the world we live in, things like this would be more acceptable. I just commented on my friends' status on FB because of the positivity within his post, but my thoughts are much more than FB can handle so here comes a new blog. Good thing because it's been months since I last posted. Hot/Cold Love/Hate relationship with blogging and such.
As parents, my husband and I are raising our children to be accepting of those who are different. That's the key word here. Acceptance. If you don't like it, fine..if you don't agree with it. Whatever. BUT at least accept someone who is different. Not everyone likes you either. Not everyone thinks you're "normal."
I remember a book from my teen years by an author named Julie Anne Peters called Define "Normal". It was a book about two teen girls who thought they were completely different from one another. They end up in peer counseling together only to find out that they aren't very different after all. It's a good coming of age book that helps teens (especially girls) realize that being different from the social "norm" is okay and that it should be embraced.
That phrase, define normal, has stuck with me into adulthood. I've used it from time to time in conversation when people have used such statements as "That's just not normal!" What is normal? Truly. Aside from a dry, black and white text in the dictionary, what is normal? Who sets the standard for what is normal?
If normal is being like everyone else and not having your own identity then I'll continue to remain abnormal. Thanks...
Now then, back to Bruce..or rather Caitlyn Jenner. Love the name choice by the way. Caitlyn is perfect for her. Thank goodness she went with a C instead of a K because that would just been too korny. Okay, I'll stop, I swear!
My kids are happy for her. Yes, my children. I have kids that range in age from almost 6 to almost 12. All of the children thought Caitlyn looked so pretty in her "new skin" on the cover of Vanity Fair. My oldest son said, "Mom, that's the dad from Keeping up with the Kardashians? He looks like a woman...Wow...he did a great job with his makeup!"
Now here's a little background. Along with the Kardashians, one of my other reality show faves is RuPaul's Drag Race. It's different, kind of edgy, and extremely entertaining. But more than that, it's allowing a forum for people to gain more understanding of the LGBTQ community. Yes, there are men dressing in drag on the show but it's much deeper than just amazing makeup, hair and glamorous clothes. RuPaul brings about awareness of the struggles these queens face on a daily basis. You learn about the individuals on the show. Their struggles with being accepted by family and friends. Their heartbreak when people judge them so harshly for their lifestyle choices. Their frustration when they are told that they're not normal. Drug addiction, suicide, depression, isolation, that is the norm many of those in the LGBTQ community face, especially as teenagers.
Why aren't they normal? I firmly believe that there are people who feel different. People who know in their heart they were meant to be someone else. When people throw religious views into this situation (don't even get me started on the WBC and their picket signs!) it sickens me. Who's to say that God didn't make gay, transgendered or other people who don't fit the societal norm just to test us? He wiped us out with a flood once because the world wasn't what he wanted it to be. So why couldn't he have made humans to be different just to teach his followers to love EVERYONE regardless of the situation? Is that too complicated for God to have done? I think not. He's God...he can do what he wants!
Acceptance, humility, compassion...that's what the world needs more of. Hate breeds hate. Honestly, how can anyone hate something they don't understand? This applies to most every situation, if not all, from cultural differences to religion to lifestyle choices. You cannot hate something that you do not have a full understanding of. End of story.
Now then, my kids watch RuPaul's Drag Race with my husband and I. Some people might disagree with that, and that's their choice. But as a parent it's my duty to try to help my children understand that there are a plethora of individuals who walk this earth and the best way to succeed in life and make a mark is to be accepting. Being able to have that mentality allows you to have a larger circle of friends and to embrace all the unique qualities of every single one of those friends. My kids are growing up with the knowledge that this world can be a cruel place and I'm doing my best to arm them with the tools to help combat that cruelness.
We turn reality shows into life lessons. There was a recent episode of RuPaul's Drag Race where the drag queens were shown a picture of themselves at a younger age and asked what they would say to that child now. The answers were heartbreaking and the tears flowed from their eyes. You could hear the sadness in their voices but you could also see that they had the spirit to endure and persevere. That's why they're still standing. They didn't give up. They fought to get to where they currently are and by doing so they showed all their haters that they can handle anything life throws at them.
When my kids watched that episode, it clicked for them. I could see the wheels turning. They understood that these aren't just men in costumes. These are humans that are fighting to let their true colors show. Now couple this show with Bruce Jenner's transformation and it's allowing individuals all around the world to see that this real.
These individuals exist everywhere. It's showing up more and more in the worldwide news, not just the United States. People are fighting for their rights. Gay marriage and rights, transgender and gender equality. It's all around us. Don't we all have something we're fighting for in this life? If it's worth the fight, shouldn't we be given the right? (Maybe I should put that on a T-Shirt if it's not already..hmm..)
I have a variety of friends in the LGBTQ and while personally that's not my lifestyle, it doesn't matter. They are my friends and I love them tremendously for everything they stand for. It takes courage in this world to fight for what you believe in and I can only hope I live to see the day when it doesn't require a fight to be yourself. Acceptance is key.
10 Life Lessons:
1. Be true to yourself, no matter what others think.
2. Love yourself.
3. Be brave in the face of adversity.
4. Stand up for what you believe in.
5. Love those around you even if they're different.
6. Different is beautiful.
7. Drag queens have the best hair and makeup.
8. Do not give up on your dreams or you'll be letting yourself down.
9. Teach your children to be accepting of everyone around them.
10. Moisturize. (Seriously, have you seen RuPaul's skin?)
In the words of RuPaul, ConDragulations, Caitlyn Jenner, you're a beautiful woman inside and out. Keep being an ambassador in the public eye for all of those who are too scared to stand up for themselves. This is one step closer to a world where people will be truly free to be who they are.
On a side note: I'm not trying to say that all gay people are transgendered or all trans-people are gay. I'm just writing a blog talking about issues that are currently on my mind. I know there's a difference so before people start ranting about me being a "straight woman with no knowledge of the LGBTQ community" understand that I know the difference.
Good article, Kim!
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